Pain

I have always been someone who likes to deal with his emotions on the spot. I am not a person who waits, who avoids, or pretends everything is okay. Unfortunately, I always seem to end up dating people who do exactly those things...

Right now, I am writing this because I seriously need some kind of outlet and this old blog of mine seems to be one of the most convenient ways I can get this settled. It really sucks when you are at that point where you need to cry, but the tears just don't seem to come. And even when they reach the edges of your lids, they don't roll down your cheeks like you hope they do.

I just want to be able to talk to you again. To be able to hear your voice. To be able to share my thoughts, feelings, and everything with you. I feel alone and I feel lost. I know what I need to do to move ahead, but unfortunately I need you to be able to do the same, which I know you cannot do.

I find myself having to suck it up and try to be strong, but to be honest I just want to cry myself to sleep.I am listening to the first and only song we had ever slow danced to and it hurts to know that we will probably never be able to do that again.

I just wish things could be worked out properly and that I will find the salve that will sooth my heart. It really hurts and it really sucks that everyone around me, around us, thinks that it's a damn shame... I read through our messages again like some obsessed teenage girl and I only saw how good we are for each other...

Fuck this... my grammar, tense and syntax is going to the shits... I can't stand it anymore... gonna find some other way to let this out....

Over and out.