(trust me, there are MANY things a person can be addicted to aside from substances. People have been known to cling on to their other 'vices' - procrastination, misery, sadness, pain, anger, confusion, failure etc. - the list is ENDLESS)
Options available:
1. Pretend to be 'hao ren' and sayang the person, tell him it's okay and everything will alright. Basically lie to the bugger and whisper sweet nothings into his ear that will KEEP him stuck in his alcoholic stupor.
2. Snatch the bottle away, and if he tries to fight you, rap him over the head with it, or just pour all the freaking alcohol away. Then make him go 'cold turkey' to get him to kick the habit.
I seriously do not know which option is the better one. Do you do 1 or 2? But having said that hor, I just hate it when I see something wrong, and the person doesn't, but yet that person whines/complains about it day in and day out, and EXPECTS me to do 1 to him. He claims to be seeking a solution, but in fact, he's just seeking people who will FEED his addiction, people who will pity him for him being in a pathetic state, and are willing to give him money to buy MORE alcohol. And the saddest thing is that there ARE actually idiots who don't know what he is trying to do, and fall hook, line and sinker for his 苦肉计!!! How dumb is that?!
I would think a true friend would tell him straight away the fucked up state he is in, and help him to realise that he needs help! Haiz...but the most important point is still that the addicted person must have the slightest want to help himself. Then 2 will work. If the addict does not have that want, and instead fights you to the death...there is usually NO WAY you can help him. Because when it comes to the other addictions, there is no bottle to throw away, there is no white powder/needles/candles/glue pot to dispose of, there is only a mental addiction that the addict has to be willing to acknowledge before any real work can be done.
Why do you think people who are heroin abusers and alcoholics have to say the lines, "Hi everyone. My name is _____, and I'm an alcoholic/heroin abuser." Then everyone will reply, "Hi ____!". Acceptance/acknowledgement is the first step to recovery/change, and when that is done in a group environment where everyone is clear about each others' commitment to THAT want-for-recovery/change, then you get a lot of support from the group. Like, HELLO, it's not called a SUPPORT GROUP for nothing you know.
That same basic premise applies to everything you ever wanted to CHANGE in your life. You must be:
1. Be AWARE of the need for change. (Recognising that there is a problem or something that needs changing)
2. Be WILLING to change, and to do what is necessary to achieve it.
You need both in order to make a difference in your life. Lack of one or the other, will result in NIL movement/change in your life. Simple simple formula...very VERY HARD to apply.
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The above rant was written because of the frustration I felt when I saw my friend wallow in his self-deprecation and when I pointed out, oh-so-frankly, the things that I felt, and I saw, were wrong, he promptly dropped me like a hot coal, and avoided me like the plague.
This is the power of addiction.
You are so stuck in your ways, that when a clear voice tries to tell you what is wrong (only because you did ASK for the truth, and I was only sharing my observation), you decide to CLING desperately to your addiction. Although I have declared that I will always stand for you, I will always say this...you can run forever, and NOTHING will change. You can find a buttload of friends who will always do Option 1 for you, but in the end, you know the truth is that you are still as f***ed as before.
In the eternal words of Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise, starring in A Few Good Men:
- Jessep(JN): You want answers?
- Kaffee(TC): I think I'm entitled.
- Jessep: You want answers?
- Kaffee: I want the truth!
- Jessep: You can't handle the truth!
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