lost my wallet and coin purse...crap...

I just came back from my last lunch with my boss...

guess what...I lost my coin pouch this morning, and now I've lost my wallet! Such luck, must be bad karma floating around the house man...

There is a surprising kind of calm (but yet I'm slightly disturbed by it). I'm not that agitated as I would usually expect myself to be, but I'm just feeling...well, NEUTERED (for lack of a better word) I guess...hmm...

Ah well, hope my wallet gets returned soon. Good thing my I/C wasn't inside though. So doing my clearance late has it advantages as well...haha.

You Fu (A New Life)

I was watching that Ch8 drama at 9pm yesterday night and I suddenly realised that Christopher Lee is SUPER CUTE in it. The way he plays the slow-witted You Fu is so endearing. Anyway, he really reminds me of what is it like to be free of worries, of being concerned of how others view you and all that kind of stuff.

It's really refreshing to see Chris in such a unique role. Not that it hasn't been done before (I think Pierre Png is doing something similar on the 7pm drama...can't remember what it's called), but Chris is just great as You Fu...haha

Speaking of new lives, I'm currently still in camp (yes, yes...go ahead and give me your incredulous looks and surprised stares) clearing up the mess I left behind. I had been pretty irresponsible with regards to my work, and was beating myself up over it yesterday. What to do? I can only say 'I TOLD YOU SO!' to myself and just grit my teeth and remedy the situation now...last day in my wonderful unit, must cherish it...heehee.

Okay then, I will get back to clearing my muck and settling it once and for all. *gRiNz*

Room in transition...can refer to my spin off blog for more info on my new room...woohoo!

GUILD WARS!!!

Been whacking the computer for the past weekend. I just got this game called Guild Wars. It's a Massively Multi-Player Role Playing Game (MMORPG). Really fun, and quite easy to play. Been enjoying myself over the past weekend...playing till 4-5am in the morning, getting nagged at by my grandfather...haha

Been great...anyone plays too? Drop me a msg leh!

The Hive...so nice

Now sitting at the computer terminal in The Hive...(Spence, you have such a nice place going man...really cool...really shouldn't have missed all the other meetings man..heh...paiseh)

Anyway, it's really cool and chill out here lor...LOVE IT!!!

bittorrent rocks

I'm just sitting in front of my spanking new computer, waiting for X-Men: Evolution to start (yes, I love cartoons!) The sound is finally up, so that means I can go and get speakers liao...what type should I buy? So many choices, so little time...ah well...

Time to spend more money. Thanks Ruifeng for all the help you have given me...you're the greatest!!! HAHA!!!

My usual breakfast...Kway Teow Soup!!! Yum!

I shared Bean Sprouts fried with Salted Fish with Jing Yang...mmm....

Shaun saw Izzil...'jian gui' man...haha..scary

KTV with the guys...Jing Yang(left) and Marcus(right). Best dudes ever...haha

iCAN!!! the iCAN camp campers...all happy and satisfied!!!

yixin invited me to help out at this camp for kids..and my, are they full of energy and spunk...almost could not keep up with them...whew.

this is my good fren Yixin. Super cool girl and always witty and full of ideas! Thanks for being in my life and being my fren gal! =)

This is where I got the name from my blog from. A little lame right? But I really didn't know else to type at the time, and this popped into me head. I felt it was cool enough and the name sorta stuck lor...yeah...

My Room...and the noisy computer

Finally managed to get my computer down to Depot today. Anyway, thanks to Bronson for driving the family van and helping me to transport my old bed all the way back to Yishun, and then driving me all the way back to Depot again! You're the best dude!!! HAHA! Thanks to my uncle for driving my computer and me down to Depot then driving my to Harbourfront where I had the most unpleasant experience with the sulky/totally-attitude staff of BiG superstore...the fucker was bloody rude...and I should've given him a piece of my mind lor. Who asks a customer, "So, what do you think?" and then walks off without even waiting for my reply? The nerve!!!

Anyhow, the computer's a little wonky...it's bloody noisy, and I think I seriously need some professional help... Ruifeng!!! Help me!!!

Anyway, now waiting for the Windows Update to finish up downloading Service Pack 2 for my computer...yeah...so long, but definitely faster then if I were using dial-up...ugh *shudders*

TCC Journal Entry 2

This here is the second of my journal entries during experience of that which is called The Courage to Create (TCC). Enjoy...

My Life...Now

This is a time of transition for me. Leaving National Service, shifting back to the civilian world, school. It is like I am standing at the centre of a train station, and every train seems to be trying to convince me that it is the one that will take me to where I want to go. However, I do not have much time left to choose, as all the trains will leave the station soon. I do not want to be left behind.

I am at a point in my life where choices have to be made and there is till some doubt about what choices I should make. I realised that I had many queries, but I never actually bothered to go and verify my opinions or to seek out the answers to my queries. I just keep moping about how I should go and do my research, but I never actually got down to doing it. Of course, I have my excuses of "no time", "too much work", "too tired", which I now realise all do a terrible job at justifying my tardiness in getting the research done.

Taking a look at my relationships, I have realised that most of them have become cordial and have been reduced to a sliver of their former depth and quality. I allowed my relationships, with my friends especially, to silde, once again citing the same reasons as I have mentioned above. My relationship with my mother is still functional, but I wish I could better relate to and communicate with my brother. I really need to put more effort into all my relationships.

I have realised that I can take any part of my life, make a decision and do it. However, what I have been doing is to let the various parts of my life make excuses for one another. In the end, neither area produces results. And then I wonder what happened, when it was all caused by me.

I allow the various parts of my life freedom, because I had voluntarily given up control of them and let them control me instead.

End

See all these people? These are all my friends from 1Guards. It's been a swell year guys, and I really enjoyed my stay in that old, run down Dieppe Barracks...haha. Nah, really...it has been a pleasure working with all of you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Ready to Strike!

confronting a messy person - part 2

I'm still in Mish's place...cleaning was quite a success. The combination of emotional blackmail and tender ass-kickin really works...haha.

her room is sooo much better looking...heehee. partly thanks to l'il ol' me! woo hoo!

confronting a messy person...

I'm now at Mish's place...I'm supposed to help her by entertaining her while she packs, but it sorta morphed into I help her pack and order her around at the same time...haha.

She says she's so confronted that she's getting a flu...poor thing (I totally don't buy it)

Anyhow, better get back to cleaning out the room...I just can't understand how a room so small can be so messy...and the procrastination on her part is amazing!!!

I would never splurge on glasses from Dolce & Gabanna (Did I spell it right?), but I can always depend on Jianping to! The shades are his and they're REAL D&G! How do I look?

With all the extra weight I've put on during my clearing of leave, I now make an excellent footrest for my friends' tired feet. Marilyn especially like the way my board shorts felt like real cushion covers...haha...you can get them from ZARA I think...but they were from six seasons back...oopz...

Jun and me! 21 years old already! Happy Birthday Jun!!

Rich = tired, Jianping = act cute...

Jianping & me...still looking as youthful ever...him...not me

Happy people after a happy day...

Ritchie & Xiaomin. They played 'chai quan' and Rich lost terrible...ate so many fishballs as punishment...so poor thing...

That's one of the presents but definitely not her legs man...let you all guess who's legs are those...quite sexy if not for the hair on them...AHHAHAHA

The birthday girl opening her presents! So exciting...wish I had presents this year...ah well...

Jun's making a wish...wonder what she's wishing for...hmm

The birthday girl...abit dark lah, but my phone's not THAT good ok?

This is the cake before it got covered with Crazy String and was then declared inedible...haha. The Crazy String was a year old, who knows what chemical reactions have taken place by then...heh

Furniture's here!!! woohoo!!!

My furniture just arrived! yes!! So happy...now i just need to get my PC down to my grandparents' place and I'm done! Of course there will be re-decorating to do lah...hee...

WHO WANTS TO GO SHOPPING AT IKEA WITH ME?!?!

Haha...will post pictures up here soon!!!

For now, let's take a look at pictures from Jun's party last weekend!!!

NEW COMPUTER!!! Woohoo!

Just got my new computer yesterday!

no more slow computing for me liao!!!

MY CHANCE! (I can take the time Jo's blinded by the camera flash to blow out the candles myself! Mwahaha!)

I so wanna blow out the candles, but what would Jo-Lin say? Should let her blow out the candles lah...(but I totally wanna do it...argh)

This is the happy couple...aww...so sweet yeah?

Nice cake? This is Bronson and Jo-Lin's birthday cake. Their birthdays were close enough, so celebrate together lor...great party. Nice food, jolly people...excellent music...haha Great Cake!

TCC Journal Entry 1

Okay...I will finally post what I said I would 2 posts ago. My journal entries from TCC, here goes!

Day1

A Letter to Myself

I am stopped by the main need to always have to "get something" out of whatever I do. I must always be able to see the end product before I commit myself to any undertaking. Whether or not there actually is a good result/product is secondary, I MUST be able to see it, if not I won't do it. In this way, I am rarely fair to myself or the undertaking.

I am also stopped by my need to please/not disappoint others. If I meet with an issue that would compromise my image of myself in the views of my superiors/peers/loved ones etc., I would not do it. Or if I THINK it would do that, I would not do it. When it comes to these kinds of situations, I never think about what I want to do, but rather, what others will think of me.

I have learnt that I have constructed an excellent mask, that, in tandem with my strengths/weaknesses, allows me to function perfectly/flawlessly in my area of work. It is so effective, that I am almost tempted to live in it permanently, to not even acknowledge it as a mask and forever graft it into my face. If I likened my life to a cupboard, and if I made the conscious decision to hang up the mask, I could not do that. At least, not until I clear out all the skeletons hanging there; which is why I have to leave the mask on. These skeletons would ber the shit I have accumulated over the years. Fears, many fears...of rejection, of solitude namely.

Everyday, you would have to strap on a happy mask and listen to people come and tell you about their problems. You try to listen to all the people coming to you, but it is endless. You just cannot complete it. You cannot tell them to leave cos' you're wearing the mask, it's part of the deal. You'll have to be perpetually cheery and responsible. Basically a "goody-two-shoes" and a "yes" man. It's stifling when you actually feel frustrated with work and yet have to act like all is okay.

There is a good side to this. When you actually manage to help people, or you see that they have benefitted from you listening to them, it does make you feel good. There are days when you question why you do this, but then you quickly set it aside and return to the comfort of the mask and its talents.

I have managed to see, very clearly, on of my biggest knots/POS(pieces of shit) within myself, and at least now, I've come to acknowledge its magnitude. I've always recognised it's presence, but not it's sheer size! And it's scary.

-End-

That was my first journal entry...two more to go...watch for them!!! ^_^